There is no try...I can't let go,of caring.I can't let go,of hoping.I can't let go,of life.I just want to go.I don't know where.Just not here.I can't let go,of memories.I can't let go,of dreams.I can't let go,of sadness.I just want to go.I don't know how.Just to see if I can.I just can't let go.
ParalyzedI can't imagine you,beside me,waiting for my words.Your eyes fixated,on me,expecting parting lips.The furl of your brow,questioning the silence,that I have created.I can't imagine you,beside me,waiting.
LifeI woke up today,not knowing,what the world was like.Was this the dream,or the nightmare,I fought to escape?I pinched myself,to feel,the truth of reality.I woke up today,knowing pain,of the real world.
LifeDebating and debating,myself as accuser,as defendant.Subjectivity,circumstantial,my decision.Or is it?
StratificationBlind,to all the world and its many ways, choosing the path most trodden,to blend with the norms of your kind.Deaf,to the woes and throes of others, who do not follow the established way,because they are the ones most defiant.Dumb,in their ladder of chains and lies, as you toil away to get ahead,to the ones who demand the most of you.Trapped,by ideas not your own, or maybe not ones you chose,but follow shamelessly without question.
Burning UpHe doesn't know,I love him,like those years before.Like Icarus before me,I fell,as I neared the sun.Months of pain and healing,to forget,what you had done.Yet here I find myself,rebuilding,so I may soar.
Sometimes Dead Girls Forget What Stars Look LikeThose nights insomnia catches up to me,I imagine what the sky must look like and I count the starsand I think, maybe they don't shine for us.Maybe their glow is their way of crying "notice me,I'm important and I can do good."Perhaps they're searching for meaning in their life,just the way we use them to search for our home across the oceanand for a new worldand for something other than dead sea.Maybe they're afraid of burning outjust like I'm afraid of burning down bridges and friendshipsand maybe they think they're not good enoughthat they could have been better,that they could have been a sun or a planetbut they missed their opportunity.I wonder if the stars live in cliques,or if those constellations are their family members,and I wonder if they ever get into fights with their parentsor run away from homeor write about it?I bet the stars live like us,but what would I know?I'm just a dead girl from the grave,and I haven't seen a star in decades.
Empty ShellI didn’t think much of it when I was little.I didn’t notice all of the bottlesThat littered the counter tops and the coffee tables.I didn’t notice how you were always so unstable.I didn’t think it odd for a momentBecause the whole time I’ve been around you’ve been broken.I haven’t seen you actually happyAnd it kills me.I haven’t smelt your breath without a hint of liquorHiding behind it.You’ve always walked around with a heavier shadowThe darkness sticks to youIt slowly made its way from your shoesTo your insides and ate away at them until you were left hollow.A hollow shell.Somewhere on the climb up the mountain you fell.You broke all of your bonesAnd couldn’t make it back home.You never saw what it was like to see from the top of that mountain.To see that things get better,So you neverTried.The things that I never paid attention to when I was smallIs allThat I can see now.And I feel so horribleBecau
Is This Love?Okay,I think I finally found out what love is.Is it when,The sight of her,Turns your heart,To her element.If so, iron man you got some competition,Because I’m in the position to fly,No suit needed.When she isn’t around my heart is bleeding.I just, want her and only her.We can fight til morning,But please don’t leave,If you do, at least,Punch a hole,Through my soul,So in my next life,I will still have your imprint,But while we are still living this one,I want you close, no space for an indent.We can have fun together,Whether or not the weather is kind.The harsh sun couldn’t burnThe galaxies I seen in your eyes.It’s hard to define this I know,But do you remember your first sightOut of the womb, me either.But I’m sure it was a beautiful creation,Just like when I seen you.So all I ask, is if this is love,And you feel the same for me,Let’s commence this operation,In hopes to get married someday,And dance to the Beatl
Just SmileJust SmileThe rush of the wind, right beneath your feet.It's knocked you down, on the left of the street.People will laugh, people will mock, and people will scornSometimes, like me, you wish you've never been born.But like my dearest friends taught me, just smileSmile during the good times and try your darn hardest when dealing with the bad.This world is bleak, it has a lot to frown over, so just look life in the face and grin.Tell it, “no matter how bad you treat me. I'm not going to let you win!”Keep moving my guy, gal, no matter what you look like or how you sound.There's one thing hatred can't take away from from this earth,and that's the fact that frowning is more strenuous on the face.So make your life, and your body feel much better bySmiling.
on salting the field and winning the warthe phone rings again; pick it up.today, the boss asked her when you'recoming back to work. she says she doesn't knowwhen the last time you got out of your house was.you're not sure either. not all pain is fleeting.not all pain is bright and hot. sometimes, it'sjust decay.through the phone, she talks like the sun filtering throughnewborn leaves. she is miles and miles away fromthe hurricane that is battering your shoreline.she wants to know when you'll be able to look her inthe eye again. 'the boss is thinking of giving away your job,'she says. 'when will you be over this?'you don't know what you should tell her.'did you know,' you start, 'that years afterthe Mexico City earthquake in 1985, citizenswalked around thinking they still felt aftershocksin the soles of their feet?' break offhalfway through another word. stop. start again,voice shaking. 'did you know that more soldiers in the iraq warhave died by their own hand than by that of an enemy's?'voice shaking, h
The deserved MurderThe Deserved MurderWhether from the inside or outI know now that without a doubtYou’re dead, no longer a thorn in my sideNow do I care for the laws that abideTo this crime? no, for you have killed my beloved kinWith a never ending grin, time and time again.Should I mourn because you have a family and kidsWhen you’ve stashed the hearts of my brethren in lids?Fool, who do you think I am?Some foolish man that believes in Uncle Sam?Freedom for all and justice? Please, they do you no good.I’m the shadow of vengeance shrouded in a black hood.Whether the world thinks of my deed good or badYou will never once hear me become sad.Over a monster like you that only killed and pillageNow if your ghost is looking at me, good, for I shall smile as I send your dead body to your village.
beloved/be loveddo not let someone else be your sunor moonfill your universe up with stars andclouds and planets andasteroid beltslet others be within yourfavorite constellationlet them shine their brightestgleam for all that they areand all that they can benotice their twinklenotice themif they dim down andexplode in a supernovado not let them be a black holedo not let other people'sdarkness consume yoube your own sunand moonbecause the first thing you see every morningis your own skinand you deserve to be the center of your own universe.
coincidentiacut and paste blindlyinto the machineand i am reminded:"no dying."and i will not die.i promised you that.
.my head has become ahornet's nest—stinging, buzzing,teeming with ugly whispers and most daysi just want to get drunkon pesticides.it's too much:sitting in a history class wherethe teacher just drones onlike a broken record about how in sixty yearswe'll all be suffocating on the exhaust fumesof our parents' sins.driving on a clustered highwayin an empty car with half a tank ofgas getting passed by people toooccupied to live their lives.contemplating a black hole pompousenough to call itself thefuture as an insatiabledebt worms its way intothe valleys and canyons ofmy skin and bones.please;give me a scalpel andopen up my skull.exterminate these savage verminfrom my mind beforemy veins turn black from theirtoxic desires and my heart stopsbeating the moment i close my eyes.